I often marvel at the groups of Japanese people crowded in front of the restaurant windows pointing to plastic saying,\”Oishiso!\”(\”That looks delicious!\”) Unfortunately, employees often neglect to dust off the plastic models,so the food doesn\’t always look so \” oishii.\”When I first came to Japan,I dragged a waitress outside and pointed to the plastic tempura and ordered,\”Tempura,no dust please.\”

Stuff in the tank:

Some restaurants will offer a presentation of their food still in the aquarium. Nothing like bringing the sea inside the restaurant.I\’m glad they don\’t do that with beef. Can you imagine a small corral with some cows grazing in it in the middle of the restaurant?

But many people enjoy the aquarium as a visual appetizer.They also enjoy picking out their food while it\’s still alive. Many people like their fish so fresh it\’s still twitching on the plate when they eat it.I\’ve often wondered what exactly people are doing when they survey those fish in the tank. Asking if it has any last words?Getting some quotes?A restaurant near my house has an entire aquarium of sea slugs.How do you choose among sea slugs that all look exactly the same–like oversized pieces of lint from Godzilla\’s washing machine? The real test is knowing which sea slugs have a pulse. I mean, for the layman,it\’s very hard to tell if that sea slug is alive or whether it died two years ago. The taste give no indication either.

Stuff under glass:

If you\’re at a sushi bar, you\’ll see the raw filleted fish sitting on ice under the glass.

At this point,you\’ll have to distinguish the fish by the color of the flush.The types of fish will vary from pedestrian who enters the sushi bar,red-colored tuna and the mildly threatening orange salmon roe to things you might have previously considered non-food items,since you\’ve only seen them in Jacques Cousteau films. This would include the potentially poisonous blowfish with its translucent flesh. As a general rule,I advise you to not ask what things are before you eat them.Especially food suspiciously wrapped in seaweed and tied with an edible thing.I suspect inside is some of that furniture from the fish tank.

If you don\’t want to worry about pulses,blood types or surprise muscle twitches,I suggest ordering \”tempura,no dust .\” These fried vegetables are the Westerner\’s\”comfort food,\” named so because it is a comfort to see a familiar vegetable on the plate rather than an exotic\”nice white eyes staring at you.Most vegetables in tempura you\’ll recognize,and even those you don\’t you\’ll at least have seen them previously in the Encyclopedia Britannica.

I assure you there is not one food prepared on TV that is not met with multiple squeals of delight and gasps of \”Oishii!\” \”Very delicious!\”

Hank F. Miller Jr.